Everyone experiences highs and lows but for 1 in 4 of us, this is more serious. That’s the current statistic for the number of people who will experience mental health problems in their lifetime. There is still a stigma attached to mental health problems however, I tell anyone who will listen about my own demons. I am already fighting a battle in my head so I refuse to fight another battle about my mental health. My physical disabilities are painfully obvious but my mental battles are hidden from sight. Nevertheless, they are just as debilitating.

There are days when I really struggle to leave the house. Part of me genuinely would like to go outside, to breathe fresh air. However there is another, more dominant part that is screaming as I force myself to  cross the threshold.

Super Sarah will lure me out of the house, promising me delicious treats or basically anything to persuade me to leave the safety of my chair. This is all fine and well but depression has ran away with my motivation so weight gain is a new problem.

I haven’t always behaved in this way, I have been fighting anxiety for the last 3 years but depression is new to me. It was only when Super Sarah mentioned depression as a possible explanation to how I had been feeling that I really considered it as an option. I finally accepted this as a possibility after a rather emotional incident.

I woke early for a doctor’s appointment, and after breakfast, I disappeared into the bathroom to get dressed. The ladies reading this will understand what I mean when I talk about that one comfy bra. That one bra that you have that fits perfectly and feels like a hug. For the gentlemen reading, stay with me.

I had to put my comfy bra in the wash, which is always sad but as I struggled into the clean bra, I grew more and more confused. This bra was comfy too. But that couldn’t be, my comfy bra was now in the wash, wasn’t it?

Super Sarah found me in tears because I didn’t know which bra was my comfy one. As I sobbed, I knew how ridiculous I was being but it felt genuinely devastating; I brought this up with the doctor that morning and she immediately started me on a treatment program.

Even with medication, I am still struggling. Each day, there is a struggle but the important thing is that I continue to fight, to turn up for the battle every day. I can almost see the future where I am myself again which is a giant leap from where I used to be.